Why am I angry?

“This world is such a difficult place. Here we have illness, disease, earthquakes, typhoons, floods, all calamities of nature, and yet we add war, violence, and murder.” 
— Dr. Brian Weiss, Same Soul, Many Bodies

We also add to the destruction of nature and the universal ecological balance, by simply not acknowledging their importance and impact on our lifestyle. Not all civilized people support or actively participate in violence or acts of crime. However, we contribute to the negative forces by being jealous, hateful, indifferent, self-centered and simply by being angry.

Anger is the first sign of destruction. To be angry at oneself, one’s family, relatives, friends, colleagues, community, society, or at the world as a whole makes one restless.

It is natural to be angry at injustice or to violence, even being angry at those elements means one is not at peace. This constant unrest within oneself drives one toward illness and reactionary emotions, which may further cause damage.

Sometimes anger may seem beneficial; when you feel angry at someone or some situation that is inhuman, unjustifiable, or because it goes against your morality, you react with protest, with actively participating in a drive to better the world. To me, I see the underlying empathy or a deep sorrow that invokes this anger. Therefore, it is not anger by itself, but a sense of non-alignment to what is happening or what has happened. Here, one is angry, but the sense of empathy and justice which is the basis of this anger, makes it harmless as one channels it towards a more positive outcome.

Keeping aside this form of anger, let us focus on anger itself, anger that gives rise to negative emotions, reactions and harm. The question to ask oneself is:

  • Why am I angry?
  • Why am I irritated?
  • Why do I feel the need to fight, argue, preach, or express hatred?

Mostly, we do not feel good after arguing or expressing discontent. It gives us a temporary relief maybe to just shoo someone away or talk to someone rudely, behave in a way that gives us a feeling of superiority or victory over the other person. However, it does not add value to our lives. If it is just a casual act and one doesn’t think about it once over, for example, shouting at your neighbour because he parked his car outside your door; this makes him remove the car but he goes home with resentment towards you. So, it really does not add or contribute to your life or your being a better human.

When it is not so casual, and you fight to establish your standpoint, be it reasonable or not, when you end up causing pain and hurt, it affects you as much as it affects the other person. If you are an otherwise calm person, you feel bad. If you win the fight and move on with a sense of “I shut him down”, it just extends your feeling of hatred or discomfort. Someone who regularly remains temperamental often walks on with a grudge and his anger continues to impact and build negativity throughout the day.

We are lucky, human beings, having gifted with a conscience, a mind to judge between right and wrong, an ability to choose how we act or react. Why don’t we use this tremendous power to imbibe a positive force within us and outside?

I see so many people spend time in forwarding messages of distrust, self-preaching quotes and even lashing out at the world in self-pity. It creates a sense of false well-being.

Why do I need to assert a sense of well-being by forwarding messages preaching distrust, indifference and blame? Why do I need to vent out by defending myself? Yes, we fear “getting hurt” and we create a fence to protect ourselves. But, ask yourself, do you really need to build a fence or create a wall of words to safeguard yourself? If you are at peace within, you do not need this protection because you cease to see yourself as a victim. It is greatly our own restlessness and inability to accept or solve a problem that generates a discomfort. This discomfort leads to either feeling victimized or being angry. 

There is no shame in being oneself, there is no shame in feeling vulnerable, and there is no shame in feeling weak. As there is no standard that can define what you are and what you can be. Be yourself, accept your own choices, and come to peace by sharing yourself, your world with people around you. By spreading love, empathy, compassion and with a deeper understanding of your own fears, you will dissipate your anger yourself. Happiness is not an illusion.

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